2 posts tagged “mobile”

I seem to be in this increasingly depressing funk as of lately. You think I would be riding high off of the inauguration of President Obama. But I'm not. I am still trying to navigate around the economies pressing reins of debt and more debt. Leaving me feeling stressed out and depleted of all creative energy.

I really have been focusing on the wrong things in my life. All the negative things are prominently front and center in my mind. I began to think about the bills that continue to pile up and the unfinished writing projects on my desk and I get overwhelmed thinking of it all. Being a mom, a wife and having two boys who all need me and then I need to write and fulfill my own personal goals can be very nerve racking and utterly hopeless.

I assume that I am not alone in my pessimistic outlook on my life. Since most people are feeing the crunch with the economic climate. I need to just focus on the good things and let the pressure of everything fall to the side. I was reading someones blog today and it really inspired me. He was saying that he decided to stop being stressed about things that happen in his life and instead he would just be present. Being present in the moments that are good and bad. And the outcome of his positive outlook and just being present in situations. He found that he noticed his mood changing and he was happy and content.

I want to be happy and content no matter what happens in or around my life.(because you know other people's attitudes and opinions can affect you indirectly)

I want to be free of all of that. Free of being concerned about what people think. Free to be me no matter what anyone says. Free to write and to write what I want and to finish projects. Free to grow and change without questions. Now that is what I call growth. I'm ready to be present and to be overcome with happiness...

Ready to fly away...I want to be free!

So I begin this post unneccessarily disgusted and aggravated, because I have no job! Yes, I decided to stay home and do my motherly duties that never end. I also expected once I decide to get back into the swing of things...when I started my job search it would be easy.
I thought to myself all I need to do is to go on these particular websites put my resume on their and other info and VOILA a job will mysteriously appear, paying the perfect amount and giving me purpose, because it will be the job I so desperately want. I was so wrong. Looking for a job in this economic climate is like looking for Prada pumps at payless. Horrible insane.
I have been searching for a job for so long that I am an expert at it. However, I can count on both hands how many interviews I've had, but I consistently look everyday.
I have been looking for a job for so long that I have forgotten what websites that I am on. I was on a site yesterday and I saw a promising job and I started to enter my info, thinking it was my first time and they told me it was a duplicate login and password on the site. I laughed outloud, because I did not remember that I had already registered for that site.
I am very discouraged about not being able to find a job, since I have a degree. You would think that I could find a job easily. Not true...not true at all. It's very hard. I am in Michigan where the unemployment rate is pretty high. I am competing against people with Master's degrees and all kinds of on job experience and its very disheartening. When bills pile up and these companies do not care if u can't pay. It can get downright depressing!
As a writer, it's even more depressing with newspapers closing down publishing companies downsizing. I don't know why I am having the worst time trying to freelance for actual cash. I have gotten plenty of jobs that are FREE, but I think my words and my work is worth pay...don't you think??!!
It's pretty dismal right now, but I'm sure things will turn around soon. It has to turn around. There is a job out there for me somewhere. That pays good and will allow me to do what I love to do...write.